Before he left
by sherlollian2016m
Summary: sherlolly , post TRF


"There's just one more thing, mate, one more thing."

"One more miracle, Sherlock, for me."

"Don't be dead."

"Would you?"

"Just for me, just stop it."

He watched his best friend while his tears fell over his fake grave, mourning him, telling him how he owed him so much. He could raise his voice, tell John he owed him nothing as his life was saved by John's existence in it as well, but he didn't.

He heard John's request and he could respond to it by only taking few steps forward from where he stood, but he didn't.

Sherlock stood watching John walking away from his grave, fading from view with each step he took, his eyes hard as stone that wouldn't allow him to shed a tear even after he lost everything.

He turned around and walked to the black car with dark windows that was waiting for him; he opened the door and sank inside.

As the car moved to its destination, he wished he could open the window, drink in the sight of his beloved city, breathe it in and have his fill of its scent before he left, but he knew he needed to be careful. It was reckless enough going to attend his own funeral, but it was a risk he was more than willing to take. He settled to watch from behind the dark windows, his lips twitching with a sad smile, after all it was his funeral day, so seeing his world as dark shades was suitable to the situation.

A small strong hand touching his got him out of his thoughts; he looked next to him and sighed in relief seeing the familiar sweet smile he needed more than his next breath in this moment.

"It shall pass," she said with her comforting voice, tightening her fingers around his, giving him the strength he needed.

* * *

"It shall pass."

"What?" Sherlock wasn't aware of her presence in the room till Molly said these words; he got his head up to find her biting her lower lip and holding a cup of some kind of hot beverage. She put the cup in front of him and smiled awkwardly as if she'd said something she shouldn't.

"Uhmm, it's a story," she said with a grin.

"My father used to read it to me when I was a kid. A king asked his wisest assistant for a sentence to give him strength in times of loss, and to remind him to be humble in times of victories, so the wise man made him a ring. Written on it were these three words: 'it shall pass'," she babbled, pulling her hair behind her ear, as he stared at her.

"I thought after everything happened today you might need … never mind." She smiled and shook her head.

After the scene they made today on the roof of Bart's hospital, he needed a place to stay. When she offered her flat, he couldn't think of a safer place to be. Even after Mycroft offered him one of the safe houses the government runs, he convinced himself it was the last place any of Moriarty's assistants would think of.

"My room is there whenever you want to sleep," Molly said. "I'll sleep in the office, the couch there is a bed too, and if you needed anything I'll be there."

"You stay in your room, I don't need the space," he said with cold voice.

"It's OK, and probably I won't be able to sleep, so I'll be staying there anyway reading something," she said looking to her crossed fingers.

 _'Thank you'_ he wanted to tell her, for everything she did for him, he knew she wanted him to feel comfortable after the day he went through.

"It's only for few days; Mycroft said it's dangerous to stay in the country for a long time," he said instead.

"I don't mind, I'm happy to help." She left him with the cup of tea she'd made, he got up without touching it and moved to her room, thinking of her words, _it shall pass_.

* * *

He began his deductions the moment she entered the house: new mascara, but puffy eyes - she was crying but she didn't want him to know so she had refreshed her makeup; he saw the sign of tears on her shoulders, Mrs. Hudson was crying and she held her. A scent of tobacco wasn't missed; Lestrade had gone back to smoking.

"How are they?" he couldn't stop himself from asking even if he already knew the answer to his question.

"Alive," was not what he expected her to say.

She sighed heavily while she took her shoes off, never taking her eyes away from him.

"You did what you had to do to keep them safe, Sherlock, stop blaming yourself." She put her bag on the table next to the door and moved to her office.

"Molly."

She turned to him after hearing her name.

"I'm leaving on the day of funeral." She wasn't expecting it to be this soon; he could tell from her wide eyes and opened mouth.

"I think it will be better if I see a familiar face before I .."

"I'll be there." She promised, stopping him.

"I'll leave the funeral early, and I'll be waiting for you." She nodded.

 _'Thank you'_ he needed to tell her how grateful he was.

"Good," he said instead and walked to the kitchen.

* * *

"You know your brother is a familiar face, don't you?" she said laughing, standing in front of him at the airfield. Mycroft stood at the car waiting patiently.

Sherlock looked to his brother and smirked. "Yeah, he's Mycroft, that doesn't count."

Molly grinned and tilted her head to the side "Aww you sound so sweet when you try to hide your love and respect for your big brother."

He blinked several times. "I'm … not …" Her laughter at the sight of him stopped him and made him grin and join her.

"How long do you think your mission will take?" she asked.

"If my calculations were right it might take two to three years to destroy Moriarty's web."

She looked at her fingers, contemplating what to say.

"I heard Mycroft saying you can have a normal life elsewhere, you don't have to take this dangerous risk, he can protect you."

"Nobody is safe until I finish what I started, and my current life is what I want but I can't have it back until I clear my name"

A moment of silent went between them before Molly's smile appeared again on her face.

He knew what she was going to do from her body language, he could stop her but he didn't want to.

She took two steps closer to him and stood on her toes, he didn't move.

Her soft lips touched his cheek. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, letting the warm feeling he felt inside his heart wash his worry away.

"Take care of yourself," she whispered.

He could sense her moving away from him, and when he opened his eyes he saw Mycroft holding the door for her while she slipped inside the car, never taking her worried eyes away from him.

From the corner of his eye he saw his brother nodding to him before he joined her in the car, but his gaze was on her all the time.

When the car started to move away he touched the cheek she just kissed. It was still warm.

"I love you." He whispered his secret to himself, but the moment the words left his mouth fear surrounded his heart, speeding his heartbeats up. He looked around, scared somebody would have heard him even though he knew he was standing alone, but you can never be too careful, he thought, swallowing hard. When he felt his heart calming, he took a deep breath and walked to the jet to start the mission of getting his life back.


End file.
